Math

If you open a 2 lb tub of margarine on May 17th, how long will it take to use all of it?

Right now, it is 3/4 empty. Mom and her toast. I have never bought so many english muffins, bagels, and loaves of bread in my life. I came home last night and she was eating english muffins.

Kathy said she had little to eat for dinner. We have lunch meat, and I’m sure Mom knows how to make a sandwich, but it is just toast in its various forms. We went to the doctors on Tuesday. Just a regular visit. Mom has gained weight, 8 lbs to be exact. That is good news. In the conversation with the doctor she made mention that she eats 3 meals a day. I asked her what she has for lunch and she said she always makes a sandwich. If by a sandwich she means toast slathered in margarine then I guess it qualifies. If on the other hand it is the usual, PB&J or bread with meat, well then she doesn’t. I don’t know if her answer was an attempt to fool the doctor or if she really thinks she is eating three meals a day. She probably eats 10 meals a day. Buy stock in Wonder Bread because I buy two packages of english muffins a week. Along with two loaves of bread and a dozen or so bagels. She has a serious wheat jones.

Another math problem.  My water bill has gone up noticeably. Not because mom takes baths every day. No, she drinks water every 5 minutes. Not a glass, just a sip. The procedure is go to the sink. Run the water. Fill up the glass. Wipe the sink. Sip the water. Empty the cup. Wipe the sink. Rinse, repeat. Rinse, repeat.

She is OCD on so many levels. It is fascinating to watch. A sad result I’m afraid of this retched disease.